First things first, obviously you have to sing the title to yourself to the tune of Elvis Costello’s Watching The Detectives. This has nothing whatsoever to do with what follows, it’s just that I’ve not been able to shake it since the title came to me and I’m saving you the trouble of thinking that you vaguely remember a song called Mocking The Afflicted but can’t recall the artist. It wasn’t, you can’t. Continue reading
For hire – professional dog shit locator, no turd too big or too small.
Thankfully not my actual job although it might as well be. Since multiple sclerosis reduced my eyesight to something Magooesque last year I can hardly set foot outside without plunging the highest quality footwear into a steaming stool. The flip flop days of summer do not auger well. Continue reading
I’m eight years old, my life is a simple cycle of eating, sleeping, playing and state enforced learning. These activities all take place within the protective cocoon of a small village on the Welsh border. Little concerns me; I’m a poor loser but given that there are only four boys in my year at school and I am the don, this doesn’t happen with any great regularity. My mind is free of troubles, to use the early eighties vernacular, my life is skill! Continue reading
Or rather, me versus travellers. You’re on holiday, I’m on holiday. You might not like your sojourn being reduced to the same level as mine but it’s an inescapable truth. Continue reading
Bark pamphlet is read by smokers, poets, carpenters, recluses and clumsy lions. Bark is published irregularly, arriving when you most need it – your ammo against the berks and braggards.
Follow the link and enjoy http://www.barkpamphlet.com/
Short Order Writers Wanted. Must be willing to write for 20 minutes. No Grammar Snobs Need Apply.
You’ve got a story, we want stories so why not get together with us? Anything you write remains your property so no one is being fleeced here, we’re just in it for the enjoyment of writing. You may have toyed with the idea of blogging but have yet to get around to it, this could be just the springboard you need to get into the habit.
Early 1980s poor family, too many children, carless, no passports, seeks fun, fulfilling, family holiday for the price of a pack of firelighters. Replies on a postcard to Malcolm Bonnington-Fiennes, base camp SY22. Continue reading